Perspectives On The Youth Experience
in The Foster Care System

If I Were a Social Worker…*

For social workers to do their job well, the system and the agencies in it need to make sure the workers are properly supported and have manageable caseloads. Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen, and too often the kids in care suffer as a result. They may not get enough attention from their workers, or they might not get needed information. Other times, social workers manage to excel despite the strenuous working conditions. The kids in their care notice that, as well.

On this page, experienced foster teens from Little Flower agency in Long Island, New York, explain what makes a social worker someone they can trust, and what kind of social workers they themselves would aspire to be. Here's what they had to say:

#1 —Spend More Time With Us
I've spoken with other foster children, and many of them would like to see their caseworkers more often. They feel as though their caseworkers do not know them. One foster child told me he had a social worker for two years, and out of the blue she asked him if his last name was his father's name. He felt so disappointed. I was shocked: "How could you be someone's caseworker for two years and not know his last name?" Even if a worker does not have the time to visit that often, at least pick up the phone and call a couple of times a month to see how he or she is doing. Most kids that I talked to said their workers never did that.
—Samuel F.

Not just seeing them when they are in trouble makes children feel wanted. Little things like this can change a child's life.
—Jermaine

We have some social workers who just don't have the time to really talk to their kids because they have so many of them. If I were a social worker, I would try to make more time so that I could get to know my kids better. I would have a program every Saturday where we could all meet and talk about what's going on in our lives.
—Knifesa H.

#2 —Meet Us in a Comfortable Place
I would have our monthly visit at the place of the foster child's choice. One place that I would stay away from is the foster child's school, because it can be really embarrassing having your social worker show up there. Even though the social worker may care and want to know how the child is doing in school, her primary concern should be for the child to feel comfortable.
—Kareem

Social workers should make surprise visits to the home because some foster parents may change how they treat kids in front of the worker. They can treat you really bad in private, but in front of the social worker, they act like the child is God. Also, I would make sure that I didn't talk with the child in front of the foster parent so I could find out what's really going on.
—Dermaine

#3 —Try to Relate to Us and Really Listen
When I was young, my social worker would ask me a question, then cut me off. I felt like I was talking to a wall. Now I know that social workers often have many kids on their caseloads, but even if you pretended to listen when you ask how things are, it would be better than us feeling like no one was listening at all.
—Elvin R.

I would try to be understanding and listen before I lashed out at a kid for doing something wrong. Sometimes children act bad for a reason. I would try to find out that reason, and if it was something that could be helped or changed, I would do everything in my power to fix it.
—Latosha

Feeling as though no one can relate to your issues is going to make you feel more isolated. The best way for a social worker to relate well with children in foster care is to have lived through foster care themselves.
—"K"

Although foster children's situations may seem similar, each child is different. Some children blame their parents, while others blame themselves. Some rebel, yet others become withdrawn. If I were a social worker, I would examine the child's emotions before I drew a conclusion as to how he must feel, and then act accordingly. This one act does not escape the notice of a child and may contribute to a brighter future for her.
—Shavann

#4 —Help Us Prepare For Life On Our Own
Any social workers who have older kids need to sit down with them and talk with them about their future plans, because sometimes as a foster kid you feel like you are out there on your own.
—Dermaine

#5 —Be Reliable
If I were a caseworker, I would keep my appointments with my kids, and not let them down when they are expecting me. It's very important to keep a good relationship with the children you're working with by being reliable. This way, they don't look at you as some social worker, but as a friend, somebody they can trust.
—Jermaine

#6 —Commit To Your Job
I have had a number of social workers. The average stay of each was about one year. Due to the simple fact that workers are bounced around from case to case so often, I was not able to establish a comfortable level of communication with any of my social workers.
—Kareema

If I were a social worker, I would make sure that I loved my job before I started it, so the kids don't have to keep changing workers.
—Dermaine

#7 —Help the Foster Parents, Too
We have a lot of kids in the system who won't talk with their social workers because the foster parent doesn't like the worker. It would help if the worker let the parents know what their jobs as social workers require from the start to eliminate misunderstandings. If the children see the parents and workers getting along, they will be more likely to accept them and get closer to them.
—Knifesa H.

Sometimes the foster parent feels that the agency is not doing enough to help them raise the child. If I were a social worker, I would work with the foster parent, too, by maybe going to lunch to talk privately. I would ensure that the foster parent got help whenever needed.
—Ishmael W.

#8 —Know That Your Job Really Matters
If I were a social worker, I would know that I helped a person through the hard times, gave them someone to trust, a friend, a buddy. I would also have filled a space in my heart knowing that I helped a kid become a doctor, lawyer, teacher, social worker, but most importantly, a success.
—Jermaine

Having someone out there who really cares gives a kid with nothing else something to look forward to. It motivates you to make good choices for yourself. When you're in foster care, sometimes you don't really care enough about yourself, but you don't want to disappoint this other person who believes in you. You start to think, "If this person cares about me, they must see something in me that is worthwhile." After a while, you start to believe it too.
—Lesly P.

If I didn't have such a wonderful worker throughout high school, I don't know how I could have accomplished some of the things that I have. The way I look at it, if you have this person telling you that you have to do well in school, and that you need to support yourself to make it, you're going to do those things, even if it's to make the other person happy (and get her off your back). In the end, no matter how much you thought that person was a pain (I won't say where), you realize that this person really meant the best for you. Now that's a social worker.
—Elvin R.