Tabitha Kozakiewicz, 18, sums up her long journey from an orphaned foster child, to a freshman student at City College in Manhattan who plans to major in economics. She hopes to be a music entrepreneur, while having a 9-to-5 job in her major.

Tabitha's journey has been strewn with obstacles that would have derailed many other young people. But a combination of caring adults, important services, and a strong inner sense of how to look out for her own best interests kept Tabitha on track and contributed to her current success.

Tabitha was only 10 when the man she thinks was her father died from cancer. She lived in a small apartment in Brooklyn with her mother and younger sister Cynthia, surviving on public assistance and her grandmother's social security check.

Two years later, Tabitha's mother died of a heart attack. She and her sister were placed in a foster home not far from where she had lived with her parents.

"I used to walk by my old home after school," Tabitha remembers, "and think, 'Damn, I wish I could go in there just like before.' "

School gave Tabitha a focus and a goal as she struggled to adjust to her new life. "When I first went to a foster home, I didn't like it there very much, so school kept my mind off the house. It was like a getaway from my new life without my mother. School was something in my life that was consistent.

"But I sometimes felt different at school," she adds, "because most of the kids had parents and were always like, 'My mother this,' and 'My mother that.' "

A favorite teacher in junior high school was a great help to Tabitha. Mr. Lemko was her homeroom and social studies teacher. One day he approached Tabitha and she was able to talk to him about her parents. "We started to talk a little bit after class. We built up a relationship. He was really concerned. At Christmas he sent me cards."

At the time, Tabitha's foster mother thought that she needed therapy to deal with her losses. But Tabitha refused, preferring to talk only with her sister. "I didn't really need therapy," she says. She sees more value in group counseling with peers. Tabitha says the word "therapy" alone can be a turn-off to teens.

"When some kids hear the word 'therapy,' they're like, 'I don't want to go, they don't know me.' But if it's people your own age going through the same thing, they feel more comfortable. In individual therapy, people get tired of talking with one person, they feel they can't connect with them on the same level. I think it should be peer discussion, with someone in charge."

In addition to her teacher, two other adults provided crucial support in Tabitha's life. A couple named Gia and Andrew, who lived in her old apartment building, became especially close to Tabitha after her parents' deaths. She calls them her "god-parents." They took Tabitha and her sister to museums, cultural events, and restaurants, and were crucial role models. Tabitha says they helped her make "smarter decisions."

"My foster mother wasn't focused in about me," she says. "If Gia wasn't there, I'd probably be running around like a wild child or something."

When she was 14, Tabitha's social worker urged her and her sister to consider being adopted. It was a very complicated and confusing period in her life. Tabitha was torn between her longing for a family, and her fears that she couldn't be herself in a new family. The family that wanted to adopt the sisters was taking them out and spending a lot of money on them.

"The whole thing made me feel strange. I felt like the family was trying to buy us, and there was something funny about that."

Eventually, Tabitha decided against being adopted. To help make her decision, she sought out opinions from people she trusted.

"I just didn't say, 'I don't want to do it.' I got feedback from a lot of people."

Looking back, Tabitha's feelings about the adoption experience are quite clear: "Before I went into foster care, my mother, sister, grandmother, roommate and I were living in the ghetto where there were drug dealers, roaches, and rats. But if I had to choose between living with someone rich or living in the ghetto with my mother, I would definitely choose my mother."

With her discharge goal changed to independent living, Tabitha eventually entered her agency's Supervised Independent Living Program (SILP), and she now lives in an apartment in Manhattan. The agency pays her rent, while Tabitha gains hands-on experience in living on her own. The program is highly supervised, with staff checking in frequently.

"It's a good program, because you get to practice, you get to learn from your mistakes." Tabitha is able to save money, without the danger of messing up if she had rented an apartment on her own.

But foster youth need more help in aging out. "Independent living classes, where they just give presentations, are not enough. SILP programs should be expanded, so more kids can participate."

Tabitha also sees a lot of room for improvement in how the foster care system deals with education. "There's a lack of encouragement and too many kids drop out. They don't know that foster care helps pay for college." In New York State, foster care agencies will pay for college room and board, until age 21. This was a prime factor in motivating-and enabling-Tabitha to seek higher education.

Asked what adults could do to help teens, Tabitha stressed the importance making young people feel cared for in a non-judgmental way.

"Of course people say, 'Sit down and talk.' But adults have to make sure not to put teens down. They need to lift them up and show them that they care. Then teens will open up and tell how they really feel. And then you can help them out.

"Sometimes I was scared to talk to adults. I was afraid of what they would think, that they would get mad at me. My foster mother didn't act like she cared, so I didn't tell her anything. If teens don't tell their real feelings, problems pile up. Adults should be a little bit more opened-minded and lenient. Teens don't want to be told what to do."

What advice would Tabitha give to young people facing difficult challenges in their lives?

"I would tell them to find a friend or someone they could talk to, or to write about their feelings. Get involved in stuff that you love to do. The future isn't guaranteed to be hopeless. What was negative can also become positive."